Mr Online Dating asked:


Alot of singles find it difficult to chat to a good looking man or woman. Some people become tongue tied, blush and get embarrassed and then come across feeling unattractive. Recent studies indicate, alot of attractive people have lower self esteem than their less attractive counterparts.  In fact, they are often more self conscious for reasons being that people are giving them more attention because of the way they look and not because they deserve it. As there is uncertainty of their own real worth together with the feeling that everyone who meets them does so with an ulterior motive, could make them insecure yet afraid to admit it.  How often have you seen an attractive female with a good career and heard said “I wonder what she must have done to get that job”. Good looking people grow up with this attitude directed at them all of their lives and can eventually resent it.  They can often face the polar opposite where people will reward them and thank them regardless of whether they feel they have earned it.

 

Studies have shown that the more good looking a woman is, the less sexual experience she will have had.  The more good looking a man is, the more sexual experience he will have had. Males tend to feel that these experiences, on the whole, had no real meaning and will sometimes feel unfulfilled emotionally.  Females who are attractive can often date regularly although are more cautious in becoming physically involved.

 

So if you meet Mr or Ms Attractive and actually want to make them your partner one way is to avoid offering lots of compliments.  If you over do it in the complimenting department they may start to think that you are going to try to take advantage in certain ways and do not like them as a person.  Given that they will have spent years listening to people telling them how smart, how nice looking, how accomplished they are then this will make a welcome change.  Self confidence is in itself a very attractive trait. Being confident does not mean that you need to be over the top and full of yourself.  Its not hard to mistake appearing confident as coming across as conceited or boastful. Very attractive confidence is quiet, and self assured . The style of confidence which shouldn’t need to be announced or talked about, but just is.

 

Another important thing, without doubt,  is to be content within yourself.  Online dating, helps meeting singles some what less stressful. Its possible to get to know other singles for who they really are and you don’t have to feel awkward or to overly focus on physical attraction. Confidence is still a major draw card, and easier to practise online.

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Olga asked:


Many foreign man in their search of their real soul mate come to the idea of looking for their bride in former USSR countries – Russia, Ukraine, etc. Many of them decide to use international marriage agencies for this. Is it worth doing?

So you have found an agency, you have looked through Russian women gallery, there are several pretty girls that you feel interested in, but what to do next? Now there are two possible ways and you need to choose one of them. One possible way is to choose one Russian lady, and to dedicate all your time and efforts on conquering her. Of course, this way doesn’t need a lot of money and time, as she will be answering to you not more than twice a week through a marriage agency, and also this way may seem to be the most natural and honest one. If you are very lucky she will be interested in you the same as you are, you like each other on photos and through letters, but then time comes for meeting, and here nobody knows what can happen.

Meeting is absolutely not the same as letters, it is the most crucial moment in your relations. Again if you are lucky, she will like you and you will like her. But unfortunately it often happens that a person in reality isn’t the same as in letters. Are you ready to waste so much time and money and take a risk with only one Russian lady? Isn’t it more reasonable to have several back ups? It will give you higher chances and avoid disappointment.

Fred, a client of an international marriage agency shares his experience: “I’d advise to dedicate most of your energy to one girl that strikes your fancy. However, I suggest you review girls catalog for “back up girls”. Make a list of them (2 or 3) and perhaps send these ladies a cheerful note and mention that if you ever get to their city you’d like to meet them. I have had the misfortune of dedicating all my time to one girl then visiting her and had no chemistry and did not see her but once. So I had a whole week with nothing to do except having a few random dates with no success. So I missed a week of work and had the expense of an apartment, meals and airline fare all for nothing. Hopefully, if you carefully select a lady, correspond frequently, do a few video phone calls and speak with the agency about your lady you will find the woman of your dreams on your very first try.”

Mr Online Dating asked:


One would expect online romances to end more suddenly in the absence of immediate attraction, similar social networks and demographics.  Some studies have indicated however that the opposite is the case for online dating singles – singles who meet online like one another more!

McKenna, Green and Gleason 2003 also Bargh, McKenna and Fitzgerald 2003 both offered results showing that people who have reached the level of meeting and knowing each other well via an online concept, are not “blinded” by an initial attraction factor and as a result had more things in common. 

This may be because online dating permits the single to be discriminative and to finish relationships with unsuitable dates early on.

The success of a romance through online dating or meeting in person has been proven to be reliant on four main points:

Where the online dating couples meet – distant romances are less likely to succeed. Various job types and different financial matters also bode badly.

What the online dating couples do together – similar interests can bring people together and therefore the romance is more likely to last.

The amount of conversation singles have with each other when they are in a romantic partnership: taking a long period to get to know one another online before meeting in person and postponing sexual relations promotes longevity of relationships.

How communication is effected: Couples who learn to deal well with communication even when in dispute are likely to last longer. Online chat provides a medium that allows couples to become comfortable when communicating, even if disputes occur later when having already met face to face.

Tidwell and Wallis 2003 and Johnson 2002 produced statistical results showing that singles who meet online are more likely to offer personal details and emotions than those who met in person. This possibly goes along way to explaining the longer relationships outcome, but it is likely that factors like anonomynity would certainly play a part in online dating.

Online dating singles are usually ready for a long lasting relationship. Not wanting or not able to meet new singles in a night club environment they decide to take the search seriously. The available access of online dating services mean that online dating can be slotted in between TV shows, other activities with friends or when relaxing after work.  This non rushed, relaxed setting puts the online dater in a calm frame of mind, and this relaxing state of mind in turn makes them more attractive.

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Mr Online Dating asked:


 

Australian online dating service hookmeup.com.au reports that one third of women who meet men through online dating sites are having sex on the first date. 70% of these do not use condoms, a new survey has found.

 

This survey, published in a US journal, is an alarming trend for the safe sex activists. Chlamydia and HIV infections here in Australia are now at there highest level in ten years.

 

The American study, which surveyed approximately 600 women, also discovered 29% of those surveyed performed oral sex on the first date.

 

A leading womens magazine in the US, said the results were alarming but not surprising.

 

“Singles do feel more at ease when meeting in person having had lots of conversations online, whether its through RSVP, Facebook, www.hookmeup.com.au or any online social network”

 

If a person thinks, “I know this person, surely Im safe”, they are unlikely to use a condom.

 

A spokeswomen from the womens American magazine said that generally, women were “holding out more” and the “12 date rule” is becoming more popular, but when talking to someone you have just met online, it was easy to fall into a false sense of security.

 

“Talking to singles or married people through online dating does not mean you necessarily know what they are like, and doesn’t mean they are disease free,” she said.

 

“You need to address these issues with a potential sex partner before sex, not after. Sex should be kept sacred, at least until you know them well enough”.

 

“Its so important to get the safe sex message out to singles who use online dating, and the public in general whether you meet in a bar or through online dating”.

 

In contrast to meeting singles through online dating, according to nearly 600 women surveyed 10 % of these singles had sex on a first date when they met through conventional methods such as at a bar or through friends.

 

 

There are no figures available, or any accurate source, as to the ratio of sexually transmitted diseases caught resulting from online dating encounters or conventional dating. Online dating for singles is an easy, fast and discreet method for hook ups, so it is little wonder those inclined opt in for such website services. 

 

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