Mr Online Dating asked:


Many people use online dating sites to overcome shyness and insecurity before testing the waters in the offline world.

When two scientists representing Perth’s Murdoch University got together to research the world of online dating introductions they discovered some interesting statistics. The research involved several focus groups of online dating site members and online dating past users.

 

Their studies discovered that having such a big sea of online dating singles to choose from gave even the most insecure singles a huge confidence lift. The possibility of meeting and being chosen by other attractive dating members, who were openly available, assisted them to put aside their feelings of insecurity.

 

“With internet online dating, members have more choices, they have the opportunity to be more selective and their level of confidence rises, they’re not only relying on appearances and confidence to meet people” quotes Dr Kirsty Best who conducted the studies with colleague Sharon Demelge. “Also, this isn’t just finishing at the computer screen, it’s the attitude online internet daters are taking with them into the real world. A single woman who may have at one time or another sat and listened to a boring guy in a bar because she thought her options were closed might now be more likely to excuse herself from the conversation as she knows that she can look around elsewhere” Dr Best says to the telegraph.

 

 

 

“Whilst the numbers are massive with respects to the amount of members joining online dating sites, the biggest challenge is the sifting through them all. Like any well stocked department store, successful internet online dating sites make it simple for singles to track down exactly what they are looking for. Few have time to sort through the clearance bins of love for the right fit. Security procedures, virtual dates and other detailed searching criteria are ways some sites are using to assist their members find the right match. The hardest issue used to be the introduction part – that’s what friends playing match maker, computer chat, pre-arranged weddings and the dance were all about” Dr Best suggests. In some ways however, many online dating singles who use sites too often can end up missing out on many potential matches. The research showed that they used an in house selection system to weed out those unsuitable matches. This same selection method though often sidelines many perfect matches as the artificial constraints do not take into account information not held online.

 

 

 

Andrew, one of the study participants quoted in the daily telegraph said “I got the distinct feeling, it’s a lot like shopping, they’re thinking he’s rather nice, but let’s see if there’s anyone better emailing or smsing me”. Dr Best predicts that singles will become less likely to be happy with just one person, becoming like fashionists who will not buy a pair of shoes until they have looked at every shoe in the store. Of course with so many online daters to select from, that could take forever. The trick to successful online dating is to stop when you find someone that feels right and not think that a better deal is just one click away.

 

 

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The Online Dating Coach asked:


The Online Dating Industry is exploding with millions of new members joining every single day. It is estimated that within the next five years, almost 50% of all single adults will use Online Dating Services to meet other singles!

As more and more people use online dating services and dating agencies to help them find their Soulmates, a new specialty service has emerged in the form of an Online Dating Coach. While the online dating sites compile your personal information so they can do the matchmaking, a Dating Coach works directly with the clients to help them establish and develop the relationships which start within the agency. A Dating Coach has the responsibility of helping clients effectively market themselves on the dating site. Essentially, an Online Dating Coach provides personal coaching services to clients so they can put their best foot forward in making contact with the other dating site members.

An Online Dating Coach is a dating specialist who, after interviewing and working with a client and using special coaching assessment tools, will help the client put his or her thoughts, feelings, and values on paper (so to speak) and in doing so create the client’s Online Dating Profile which will be seen by the other members.

In addition to this, an Online Dating Coach will help his clients see how their thoughts and feelings are affecting their dating matches, and will offer guidance and feedback to enhance the client’s likelihood of success. In many cases, a Dating Coach’s clients have been away from the single marketplace for a good number of years. Therefore a bit of rehabilitation is helpful for some clients as a way to familiarize them with 21st century dating practices. A lot has changed in the world of dating in the past ten or twenty years – indeed, even in the past five years have dating rituals evolved!

A Dating Coach usually works by phone, and typically, weekly or twice-a-week telephone coaching sessions are scheduled at the convenience of the client, sometimes after work and occasionally on the weekends. At the beginning of the coaching process, a Dating Coach will do an initial assessment to get the larger picture of what’s occurred in the client’s personal life. During that assessment, the client’s personal values are mined through a series of open-ended questions. This interview sets the stage for the effective coaching sessions that follow.

Ongoing coaching sessions with a Dating Coach may be as simple as meeting by phone for an hour to discuss the men or women you’ve dated over the past week, or they may become as intricate as having your Dating Coach listen carefully while you practice flirting with strangers, or role playing to get ready for “the big night out.”

Perhaps the most important aspect of selecting a Dating Coach is investigating their professional academic credentials. You’ll want to make sure that your Dating Coach has been professionally trained of course. A Dating Coach who has a background in Psychology or Social Work (if not both) can be very helpful in drawing out the qualities of a client’s personality that he or she may not even be aware of themselves. The Dating Coach can then help the client express themselves so their dates have the benefit of their true feelings and personality. As a simplistic but illustrative example, shyness in a person is often mistaken for conceit. The person who seems unfriendly is often just bashful, but this quality may lead to a misunderstanding – especially on a first date. A properly trained Dating Coach can resolve this type of issue by helping the client compensate for his or her shyness and even make it work in their favor.

As with any form of counseling, when you seek the assistance of a Dating Coach, be objective but also look within so you choose someone who sincerely wants to help you. The more your Dating Coach is willing to work with you as his client, the more committed he is to providing the service he’s promised. At the very least, the service of a Dating Coach will help you learn more about yourself and make you more comfortable with the personality you express to the world. Since a large part of dating is your wish to feel good about yourself through the companionship of another, just feeling better about yourself overall will make your life richer for having had the experience of being coached. And feeling better about yourself can easily lead you to the relationship you’ve been dreaming about – and the reason you joined that dating service in the first place!